If any of you guys reading has taken a look at our About Us page, you’ll already know the story of why Stacey and I began blogging in January of this year. (If you haven’t read the backstory already, you totally should; go now, it’ll only take a few minutes!) As it’s now April, I thought that it’s only fair for me to give all of you lovely readers an update on what’s going on with our plans, long term.
Back in November of last year, I applied to the hugely well respected graduate fellowship at the Ogilvy advertising group. The scheme, called the Ogilvy Fellowship is open to all graduates who want to get into a London advertising agency; it’s hugely popular with people who want to be trained within the advertising industry. I was really excited by the prospect of applying to the fellowship, and spent large amounts of time working on my application, before nervously submitting it. I later found out there had been 400 applications for just 4 jobs. I was lucky to be invited to interviews down in London in February, and then got through to the final stages, where 25 people had been short listed.
I think I knew that I hadn’t got the job as soon as I left the Ogilvy offices – I had fluffed my presentation a little, and I got the feeling that I wasn’t quite what they were looking for. When I got the email saying that I hadn’t got the job I wasn’t entirely surprised, but I was still a little gutted. It’s an amazing scheme at a great agency – and the offices are based in London.
At the end of last year, my reasons for wanting to leave Edinburgh were somewhat hazy; I missed seeing my family regularly, and often worried about them and how far away they feel. As much as I love Edinburgh, it’s not the same as being in London, with all the shops, the theatre and the ballet. (I miss going to the ballet! And I miss dance classes, and 24 hour gyms!) More than anything, I feel that I’m a little limited in my job in Edinburgh – I’d love to work at a big advertising agency – but that’s not really possible up here. It all sounds a little vague, I know.
Since 2012 started, I’ve wanted to be closer to home more than ever. In February, a family friend I was close to died. He was like an uncle or grandfather to me, someone I knew as a small child and who has always been interested in my life. He’d been very ill, and his death wasn’t unexpected, but it was still hugely upsetting. I went back down south for the funeral – but it sucked that I only had limited time to comfort my mum and grandparents. And then, last month, one of my nan’s sisters died, which really was a shock and is still hard for me to comprehend.
So more than ever, I feel drawn to being in the south of England. There’s no easy solution to this problem though, because as much as I want to be closer to my family, the idea of being away from Stacey isn’t ideal either. I fully support Stace in her decision to get her LLB, and I know it’s really important to her – but that means she can’t leave Scotland any time soon.
I’m not sure that I can stay in Scotland for another 4 years; I don’t want to end up unhappy because I feel stuck here whilst so much is going on down in London. I was invited to apply for another agency in London, and I’ve sent them my CV and I’m hopeful that they may be interested in hiring me, but I’ve also made a decision. If I don’t hear back from this agency, I’m going to stop looking at jobs and worrying about being in London – it obviously isn’t meant to be at the moment. As my mum would say “What will be, will be.” I just have to have faith that things will work out – and the one thing I know that I always, always have to fall back on is that Stacey and I love each other, and that really is the most reassuring thing in the world.
Sorry for this super-intense post; this is something that even Stace and I try not to speak about all that often, because it worries and scares the hell out of us both. I love this girl more than anything – but how do I reconcile that with
wanting needing to be closer to home and my family? I hope to be able to let folks know about what our plans are by the end of April – but which point we’ll either be planning a fun August in Edinburgh in the middle of festival madness, or I’ll be looking for a place to live in London and convincing Stace to come and visit me every weekend.
Thanks for all of your support,