A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post describing what a gaydar is, why it’s useful and wondering whether the gay community will ever feel like they don’t need gaydar… (You can find What’s Wrong With Your Gaydar here.) This next post looks at how ‘baby-gays’ and those who don’t yet have a gaydar might hone their lesbian-seeking skills so that they to can feel the magic of locking eyes with someone, both of you recognising that you’re on the same team at the same time. So what are the signs that a woman might just be gay? Well, as I said in my last post, there are no hard-and-fast rules – but here are some of the things I’ve found myself clocking when trying to work out if a girl is gay:
– What are her fingernails like? Nail varnish isn’t going to help (what with femme lesbians liking to paint their nails etc) but you’ll generally find that lesbians have short nails – and fake nails are usually a no-no. So, short nails is generally the first tick in the is-she-a-lesbian checklist.
– What about her shoes? I’m not suggesting that all gay girls love their DC’s and Vans, but if she’s no longer a teenager and still wearing Converse or other ‘sneaker’ type shoes from www.soleheaven.com, I’d definitely look twice. Brogues and flat boots are also identifiers – particularly if paired with a sharp work-wear outfit.
– Earrings and piercings. Whilst I know many femmes who have a dangly earring collection which could rival Pat Butchers, I also see a lot of gay girls with studs and alternative piercings. I’m not so much thinking stretched lobes, but more cartilage and tragus piercings – or more ‘normal’ piercings but with small studs or captive hoop rings.
– Haircut. Whilst some gay girls (like myself) chose to have long locks, there are some haircuts which kinda look gay right from the outset. Whether it’s an undercut with you can only see if she swings her head a certain way, or maybe she’s shaved the side of her head or has a Mohawk which escapes from her beany hat (hat’s – another lesbian-identifier!), generally, short hair is thought to be ‘lesbian’. However, it’s not the length which is the tell per se. For a long time on my walk to work I kept seeing a girl who always made my gaydar ping. (I recently found out Stacey would often walk past her after me, and she gets the gay-vibe too…) There’s something about her haircut – a messy bob which ends around her jawline, a very fair, almost platinum blond that was even blue for a while over the summer – which definitely screams ‘lesbian’. I think it’s something about the length, the cut and the confidence she wears it with.
– What’s she wearing? Now, if you catch someone wearing a ‘No H8’ t shirt or a rainbow flag as a cape, you’d probably guess that they have a few queer tenancies – or that they’re a very committed ally! However, there are more subtly tells that a girl might like other girls – brands such as Superdry and Cult are often loved by the lady lovers – so keep an eye out for layered vest tops or a Superdry jacket. Alternatively, a gay girl might be found wearing slouchy jumpers or cardigans with band t shirts or a collared shirt – think granddad chic with a hipster edge, or a whole look bought from Urban Outfitters… (For queer outfit inspiration, why not take a look over at QWear?)
These are the things that I think my Gaydar is based on, but so much of the ‘ping’ comes from non-verbal cues which occur when you meet someone or walk past them on the street. Sometimes it’s the way I see a girl’s gaze rest on another girl for just a split-second too long, or how she pushes her hair back when talking to someone that suggests she might be flirting. Once you get the chance to chat to someone, it’s far easier to get an idea of whether she’s a little gay – if she’s into shows such as Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, Rizzoli and Isles, The L Word or The Real L Word or even Ellen, you might be onto a winner. It’s similar with music (think Tegan & Sarah, Uh Huh Her or an unhealthy addiction to Ke$ha, Beyonce or Shakira) BUT it’s important to remember that she can have a mohawk, wear a cute superdry jacket with converse and have the world’s shortest fingernails and STILL be straight… So the only fool-proof way to work out whether a girl is gay…
is to ask her.
Anyone else have any ‘tells’ you always notice on gay girls?Carley